A letter I wrote when I thought I lost her.
I don't know what happened last night or why it happened. I could go on trying to defend myself and reason but that would be selfish of me. Instead I'd rather talk about happy things that are true to my heart. If there is one thing that I know that is true to my heart is my love for you. Everything that has happened to us has happened because of God's goodness and rewarding us with each other over the past 5 months so far.
I remember the first day I saw you, you caught my eye. Before ever meeting you I knew there was something special about you. It wasn't just your beauty on the outside it was much more than that. I didn't know what it was at first so after leaving that room that one day I was left in total mystery what this feeling inside of me was. It wasn't until the first day that I officially met you that I discovered my purpose at that time, and that was to get to know you on a personal level. I did what ever it took to attempt this. Since I was a rather shy guy I was scared to talk to you, which is why I seized the opportunity to write you a letter which you were looking for people to write to. I found out so much from your first letter about you. It made me realize that we had some of the same goals in life, like moving to Washington and finding a home church at Voyagers.
It was after this that I started to suspect that maybe something was starting to happen in my life. Perhaps God was bringing you into my life. I didn't know it for sure at the time, but as the next month went on the answer became clear to me through all the phone calls and text messages back and forth to one another. When we had lunch together I realized then and there that I wanted to pursue this girl. Sure enough when the next week came around when we went on our first date to Huntington Beach Pier. It was a very special night for the both of us and I will never forget it because it started our relationship. I couldn't have been more happy at the time knowing I was with a person whom God put me with and it really sent fireworks exploding in my mind in excitement. during this joyous occasion.
Over the next month of our relationship saw our love for one another grow stronger than ever. It was two weeks into the relationship that I admitted to you that you were the one, because that was on my heart, and still is on my heart. From there on we talked about marriage and led us to get the ring to symbolize our seriousness in one another. I also can't forget the night that I admitted my love to you at Carona Del Mar. I was a stupid idiot and should have done it sooner since it was on my heart most of the first month, not to mention that I should have written the date on the card ai handed to you that night. Yea, call me an idiot.
I also will never forget the amazing trip we made up to San Francisco and how much fun we had up there. I couldn't wait to introduce you to my family because I wanted them to meet this amazing woman that I was going to marry someday. It couldn't have worked out any better because my whole family thought you were wonderful and I was jumping for joy inside because they loved you. When our families met during the first month of July we all had a fun fill time of fellowship that I will never forget.
All of this to say is that we have everything going for us. God has really blessed our relationship and everything has worked out as well. This has ,made me realize more than ever that God has a plan to fulfill our needs at some point. He had put in my heart the desire to get married and sure enough He brought you into my life. I could not be happier.
I love you Danica. I always have and always will. I know I've told you this many times but you are a woman of such rare beauty. You are beautiful all around and I mean the from the heart. The way you smile at me comforts me more than you will ever know. You have a way about you that sends me through the roof. You have no idea.
God has made you for me. I know that this is still the case because my heart still says this. I am loyal, devoted and committed to you and will always be. I have no doubt in my mind that our marriage will work just fine in every department. My passion for you runs so high that I have no doubt in my mind that we are going to have our own kind of love the way we want it. I have never known anything else, nor do I want to know anything else but you. I messed up. I was frustrated and instead of uplifting you about your insecurities I played with them and completely shattered you. For that I am so sorry and repulsed by my actions. The thought of ever hurting you that way makes me ashamed of myself as a boyfriend/future husband. I will never put you through that again. I'm a stupid man that has made stupid mistakes. This mistake was very costly, but I don't want to lose what is most dear to me, and that is you.
I love you Danica. You mean the world to me. I want to do so bad everything that we have talked about doing together. I want to have a baby Nico and Haydee Beth with you. I know you are going to make a great mother to my children and be my life long companion and friend.
I want to be the husband that takes care of you and fulfills your every need for the rest of my life. I know that your encouragement , care, boldness and compassion has made me a better man in our relationship, which means that there is no doubt in my mind that you will not make a great wife someday...as well as make me a better husband and father to our children. I love you Danica and always will until the day that I die.
Love you always,
Stephen Douglas Pardini